Green Day-metafiction

I'm a tree located on a windowsill of a typical Korean high school. It's a very typical school with lots of students in a small classroom, and the small size of the room actually helps me to observe them. Observing these students is very interesting. When a person called teacher comes, they all fall asleep. However, when the teacher leaves, they all wake up and move around. Even though the 'teacher' is changed, it's always same.


The 'teacher' is also very interesting. Everyday, he or she talks about tests. Especially the big test named Suneung. Students looked very bored when the subject is brought up that they tried to ignore. Also, the teachers categorized students into groups and treated them unequally.


My life is very peaceful. Even though the kids are very noisy and energetic, they never torture me. Actually, it's more like they don't care about me, except only one girl who waters me everyday. She's a very strange girl. I can't see her. She's blurry. I don't think she really is blurry, as other kids don't seem to feel the difference. It's very weird.


Mentioning weirdness, there's another thing that's very strange. I know somethings that I shouldn't now as a tree. For example, I understand the lectures that the teacher is teaching. It's as I have taken this class before. It may be from last year's lecture, but last year, the classroom I'm located was used for freshmen, so the lecture should have been different. Also, I don't remember listening to the lecture. I just know it.


Back to the girl, she was a perfect person. Or should I say whom TRIES to be perfect. She was smart, kind, humorous, and active, but sometimes very unstable. For example, she once got one question wrong on the math quiz. The quiz was unusually hard, so she did well compared to the others. But she couldn't satisfy, and studied only math for about 3 days even during the other class times, before she fainted shortly in the school. When she woke up, she resisted to go to the hospital or tell her parents about it. Also, a kid who really hated the girl was very mad one time, and slapped her face. But the girl was smiling, like she didn't know how to get angry. Or like she was restraining herself too much.


It seemed that teachers and her parents are expecting very high on her. People took granted about her good scores, and when she didn't pay attention on the class, teachers would scold her. And tell her that the they were very disappointed at her, even though the other kids never paid attention. 


She became more and more unstable. I wanted to help her somehow. I really felt pity. And on final exam, she got really low score. Her teacher and parents were upset, but not like she was. She was pushing herself too much. She looked really tired. And one day, she wasn't there during the class. I was looking out of the window, and


She was falling down.


Everyone and I panicked. 


I wondered, 'Why does she has to be perfect?' It's her life, so there is no need to care about the others' views. She should be the master of her life, but she let the others to have control. Expectations are expectations, not the final goal, and moreover, they're other's expectations. Also, other people weren't that strict on her either. Her parents were worried and yes, they scolded her. But suicide?  I don't know. I mean.. I don't, I don't understand. 


Life is important. Everybody knows. And everyone has their own sufferings. I can't blame others for giving up their life as I am not them and I can't fully understand their suffer. But it's really sad that the girl forced herself too far and that's the reason she committed suicide. It's not her parents, teachers, or the financial problem or unemployment. Herself. And that's the tragedy, I believe. I really wanted to help her, and now she's gone. She was smart. She deserved a better life. She had the power to have a better life. It's sad.


How do I know that the exact reason she committed suicide? I don't know how, but I know. I know what her parents have told her, and how she felt about the people around her and all the situations. This is weird. Now I realize, it's very strange. How do I know it all? I'm only a tree who has been placed on the windowsill for my entire life. No I'm not. I don't remember being put here, or any past before this class started. I'm a tree, a very small tree. No I'm not. I'm not a tree. Who am I?


The world is spinning












Beep-
Beep-
Beep-
Beep Beep Beep Beep


"Zoomi, you woke up!"
"Oh, thank God!"
"Are you okay? Can you see me? Can you hear me?"


They are my parents


"Wha.. What happened?"
"You threw yourself from the rooftop of the school building!! Luckily, you only broke your leg! Oh my god I was so scared! I thought you would never wake up from the coma!"
"Yeah...?"
"Well, the patient needs time to relax, so please leave the room"
"Okay, doctor. Zoomi, see you this afternoon."


They left and I was alone. I thought about the dream I had. Do I really deserve a better life? I didn't realize it when I was living like crazy. This is my second chance to create my life story that many people wanted. I really wanted to make it valuable. I wanted to find something that I really wanted to do, and put my passion on it, not on maintaining on my reputation and situation. 


Sun is shining brightly and shedding light through the window to the room. And there is a small tree on the windowsill.


Who are YOU?