Hey, how are you? Well, yeah it’s really meaningless to ask how, because you probably are feeling frightened as this letter is supposed to be opened right before you have determined to do something that would seriously damage yourself. I know that you have complex feelings and even regret your decision; however, I want you to remember a few things that I would tell you in this letter.
Remember the time you also wrote a letter to yourself in high school? It was during a camp right before the sophomore first semester, which was one of the hardest moments of your life. At the beginning of the semester, you cried so hard, and as time passed, you didn’t even have a strength left to cry. Torturing days passed, and after the semester, you received the letter and opened it, finding a huge surprise buried inside the envelope. You did get mature and what you were demanding had been achieved in the end, even though the path was different from your expectations. Although the letter was full of worries and advices, you didn’t need any of them by the time.
I hope this letter would give you a similar feeling. You may feel that everything is going wrong, and your plans have been collapsed and turned upside-down. But you don’t need to worry at all of the way you are going. As you know that you have grown more than the time this letter was written, you sure will grow again after the incident you are planning.
To tell about right now so you can compare, the day I’m writing is not so far from when you started to get interested in environmental studies. Environment is surely fascinating. Remember the day you went to India camp for women leadership? You were totally defeated by the fact that such camp wasn’t able to bring a big change as you have ambitiously expected at the starting day. Craving for a method that would bring a fundamental change, you got interested in environmental studies. And the interest reached the peak and decided to pour your energy and life into environment when you attended the Canaan camp where you found out a small change in environment can bring a huge change to the people. Whenever your father had some alcohol in him, he told you to become a doctor, telling you how guilty he feels in front of sick people as he didn’t became one. Yet, you decided to make a world that doesn't need a doctor: the world where people won’t get sick so helplessly due to small error in environment. However, I currently don’t know what exact part of environment I would take role in and wants to find out.
Obviously, I do not know what you would be exactly doing, what you are thinking, and what people you are with when you opened this. You might not be leaving to Africa to help the native troops by changing the environment despite of chance of getting killed, as I am drawing the future right now. However, you must be doing something that makes you sacrifice the thing that’s most important to you, as this letter is to be opened in such case. I just want to say that I had never lost my faith in you that you would be doing something great. And I know that many people around you feel the same, supporting you as always.
You probably would be missing the things you have left behind. However, remember that because of your choice, many people would no longer have to miss more important things. Although you always crave for more, you know that you have received more than enough. Don't forget that you also have received a lot of help from the others.
God bless you.
Isabella in 2013
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